For Loan or Lease
One gently-used toddler.
Term of lease: 7 months (would like him back upon third birthday, please.)
Eats pretty much anything.
Claims title on everything he sees.
Intent on self-destruction, somewhat suicidal especially in busy parking lots or near bodies of water.
Skillful escape artist.
Does not appreciate offers of assistance (screams loudly).
Does not like to go to bed.
Does not like to get out of bed.
Does not like to change clothes.
Birth-control device for foolish teenagers, or
Test module for anyone thinking of starting a family (this will set them straight)