I Will Never Again Take Them to the Movies. Ever.

Dear Patrons of AMC 14,

At the 9:40 am showing of The Princess and The Frog:

I am so terribly sorry.
Especially to those of you in the fourth and fifth rows.
I did my best, really I did.

I’m sure those pretzels in your hair came as quite a shock.

Although you would think you might have been more prepared after the frog-jumping demonstration that occurred right behind you. You certainly seemed to notice that, although when you turned around to stare (glare) at me, you didn’t seem amused.

The water droplets that were flicked across the aisle – that, too, was beyond my control.

And I’m sure the loud and repeated declarations of “I haffa go POOPS!” did not add to your enjoyment of what was proving to be a charming little movie (what little I actually saw).

I hope the last half of the film was more enjoyable to you than the first.

The management was kind enough to offer us a free pass (to leave) so that the well-behaved six year old might return and see the rest. I certainly was echoing (internally) his shrieks of despair at having to leave in the middle.

p.s. It took a good six laps of stomping around the block when I got home before I gave up the idea of trading the little marplot in for a golden retriever.

p.p.s. To those of you who attended the 12:00 show, I’m pretty sure those M&M’s weren’t visible in the dim light, but the stain should come out of the seat of your pants in 3 or 4 washings. Hopefully you noticed before someone else did.