Did you ever want something so bad, you wished and hoped and prayed for it and when it was finally given to you, all you could do was worry that it would be taken away? That somehow God is up there waiting to say “Ha ha! Just kidding!”? A celestial bait-and-switch?
Sometimes it does happen – the new bicycle crashes, the new job doesn’t turn out to be so great, the beautiful new shoes mangle your feet (ok, ok, i’ve never prayed for new shoes, but i sure have been grateful to receive them and consider them a blessing!!!).
How can we count our blessings, but also be willing to give them up if God so chooses? How can we hold on to our gifts less tightly, trusting in a Creator that infinitely knows what is best for us?
When i was small, I truly believed that whatever I prayed for in earnest would be given to me. that if I prayed really, really hard, God would let me have whatever I asked for.
I remember the rude awakening when we realized mom had indeed inheirited her mother’s illness. I was shocked. I truly, deeply, honestly was convicted that it would not happen. Not to her. I had prayed earnestly since I was old enough to understand. I prayed this wouldn’t happen. How could God deny that prayer?
Years later I understand that what we are given soars far above what we ask for. That her illness had a purpose. that her life still had meaning. But, the spectre of fear entered my heart at that time and I continue to battle against it…what if what I desperately want isn’t what God wants? What if I am mistaken in thinking that what I’m asking for is part of His plan? What if He decides that this is not right for me?
This is really the deeper meaning of trusting God…trusting that when He gives and when He takes away…He will give us what we need to still be able to say Blessed Be the Name of the Lord.