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>What does "having it all" really mean? Part 2

March 10, 2010

>Continued, from yesterday:

Do we think, somehow, “having it all” means “doing it all”?

Saturday morning I sat in a room full of moms who are struggling, and not just a little, with a sense of failure that we aren’t doing ENOUGH for our families.

DOING it all – like if we ourselves don’t do it, someone else – their dad, our parents, friends, childcare providers – is going to screw it up.

So we bake the cookies, wash the clothes, plan the parties, attend the playgroups…frantically looking over our shoulders making sure that we are ahead of – or at least keeping up with – everyone else. Trying to be the coolest, most active and influential mom (as if there were some Oscar for “Best Mom”) while really, all our kids want is our full attention every once in a while.

All the rest…that’s just gravy.

The objective isn’t to be better than every other mom out there, competing for that mythical perfection. It should just be to be me. The very best Adelle I can be.

Maybe “having it all” has nothing to do with what we do,
nor does it pertain to the choices we’ve made as mothers,
but rather, directly ties to our ability to let go of our insecurities,
of what others think (or don’t),
and silence the doggone inner “you stink” forever.

Or at least smother it for a while. (I’m a realist after all.)

So, let’s try this again friends, I challenge you.

Can you give a shout-out to one, just one, mother of your current acquaintance and tell us one thing she is GREAT at?

C’mon. You can do it. She deserves to see it in print.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. March 10, 2010 5:42 pm

    >Holly is a great mom who does an amazing job of finding the balance between being the watchful, caretaking mother and the cool, fun mom. (She's really the first mom I thought of, not just because you know her too. 🙂

  2. March 10, 2010 5:54 pm

    >Yay! Thank you Cindy for being the first! And totally agree about Holly…I still remember how she truly ENJOYED her kids, every moment.

  3. March 11, 2010 5:33 pm

    >My mom is amazing in every way, especially as she modeled being a great wife and daughter-in-law. Her role as a minister's wife (co-minister, really) prepared me for playing that same role without the usual tension and struggle that pastor's wives deal with.My friend Meagan is such a fun mom and gives all her energy to her kids, especially as she's now a single mom. She loves her kids more than anything and is teaching them to love worshipping God with the same passion that she has.

  4. March 12, 2010 6:40 pm

    >I have to give props to you, my dear friend. Talk about a put together mom! I have heard from many that you do an unparalleled job at work, you always look AMAZING, you are organized, creative, and inspiring. You are often the first one to approach newcomers at church and you provide them with practical resources as well as a listening ear. You are a true friend. It is clear that you care deeply for your boys and that you will stop at nothing to make sure that they grow up to be the best grown Christian men they can be. Kudos to you and thanks for starting the "You Don't Stink" movement!

  5. March 16, 2010 2:40 pm

    >I'm always impressed with my sister-in-law Laura and how hard she works for her family. Her recent posts about how hard it was to deal with their youngest son's severe eczema, how she spearheaded so many changes as a family in nutrition and household products, and how my nephew has seen such dramatic improvement have all served to remind me of just how awesome she is and how hard she has held on to help him and do great things for her whole family, every day. -Kari

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