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>Oh, yeah, THAT’S why I married you!

May 3, 2010

Our anniversary falls on Mother’s Day this year (kind of a raw deal in terms of gift-giving, if you ask me. Like having your birthday on Christmas).

As usual, I told G what I wanted.

I wanted TIME.

We had not had an entire weekend away from the kids in….(I have to stop and think)…at least two years. They might have spent a night here and there with my parents, but a whole weekend? Nope.

We used to do this consistenly each year – usually sometime between February and May – and I always looked forward to that time away.

But somehow it just stopped happening and life got harder and busier and OH, how we needed this.

We’ve got a great marriage already. Better than most, I might even say.

But this winter has been HARD. Many nights we felt more like roommates, passing in the hallway, than partners, much less, lovers.

So, we took a bit of a risk, knowing nothing about it, and signed up for the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember.

Held locally, this seemed like it would be a good way to celebrate and renew our marriage.

You should have seen people’s faces when we told them where we were going. The cocked head, raised eyebrow, “Huh? You guys ok?”

Of course we’re ok. We’re not splitting up.

You don’t wait till you’re about to die before you see the doctor do you?

This was merely a long-overdue check-up. Tune-up. Marriage maintenance.

And the week prior was AWFUL. Stress, sleeplessness and disasters aplenty. Either we are just dreadfully unlucky or (more likely) satan wanted to send us off for the weekend as emotionally depleted as possible.

We packed up the kids and sent them off with my saintly parents to the mountains for the weekend. I went home and cleaned my house. And off we went…not knowing what to expect.


Really. It’s hard to explain – we are refreshed, renewed, inspired and we can’t wait to tell everyone we know.

The best quote of the weekend – especially for couples in our phase of life (with young children):

Your kids will wait while you work on your marriage. A healthy marriage is the best gift you can possibly give your kids. Loving each other, deeply, passionately and openly is GOOD for your kids.

Your marriage won’t wait while you raise your kids.

Convicted, I see how life has interfered with G being my FIRST priority. Ok, second. God is first. But the kids, they have to come after him. They have to! Raising kids is a group project, and I need his help. When we are together, we are a formidable team.

Separate, we’re pretty much useless.

So many other wonderful bits of wisdom were shared. We laughed uproariously during the sex talk (oh yes! I thought I would die. They said words I HAVE NEVER HEARD SPOKEN in public.) We cried. We even (it wasn’t a bit cheesy, either) renewed our vows.

We talked about the legacy we’re leaving our children – what we want them to tuck under their jackets and take with them into their adulthood. Into their own marriages.

We want a happy home and a loving marriage to be a part of that legacy. Our job as parents is not to raise happy children. It’s to raise God-centered, well-adjusted boys who will grow up to be God-centered, well-adjusted men. Husbands. Fathers.

The entire weekend was lovely (especially the part about coming home to an empty STILL CLEAN house!), and I would highly encourage anyone, newly wed, retired, with kids, without, old, young and in between, to go.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. May 3, 2010 4:22 pm

    >My co-worker was also there with his wife and said it was great. Thanks for the recommendation! May have to look that up for next year.

  2. May 3, 2010 6:11 pm

    >Yay! I'm so happy you guys went! As the products of two broken homes, A and I are HUGE fans of attending positive marriage events even though we're doing great. It's smart! Good for you two. We wanted to go, but will have to give it a try in Novenber. Maybe Bethany could carpool And thanks for the quote…I have a feeling I'm going to need to staple that one to my forhead in a few years. 🙂

  3. May 3, 2010 9:35 pm

    >My husband and I have been married for 14 years and we have been to 3 Weekends to Remember. Our marriage was not in 'trouble' either. I think every married couple should take time and do something like this on a regular basis. We haven't been to one in around 8 or 9 years…thinking it may be time! I LOVE your quotes from the weekend!!~melody~

  4. May 4, 2010 12:01 am

    >What a wonderful, wonderful post!!! It is so very true and I love the quote. By putting each other first you are actually putting your kids first in the long run. I am very glad that you and G got away and made your already solid bond a bit tighter.

  5. May 4, 2010 1:36 am

    >Oh, good for you! Glad it was a wonderful time!

  6. May 6, 2010 6:20 am

    >Glad you guys went-we're big fans of focusing on marriage–regardless the status! People can be so funny with their assumptions. Anyway, we're planning to go in the fall in Monterey.

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