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Mommy Guilt

October 26, 2010


Admit it. We’ve all had it at one time or another (she writes, hoping). You know, that thing you feel when you royally dissapoint your kids – by accident – as a result of being over-busy, over-tired, preoccupied, or just downright forgetful.

I positively rolled in it all day last Friday. And even a little bit on Saturday. Wallowed, slogged, and plodded.

On the heels of “failing” my children the last two weeks by my convalescence (do not scold me for such irrationality – if you haven’t been there, you don’t know) I failed to remember the All Important Dress Down Day on Friday. The one day a month where identities emerge; when red polos and navy pants are put aside in favor of t-shirts, hoodies and jeans.

The look on his face when we got out the car was like a punch to the midsection. In his school-appointed raincoat and uniform, he was invisible against the sea of color washing up the ramps to the classrooms. Heartbroken, head down, he trudged behind them.

But that wasn’t all. Finally, FINALLY, that waggley front tooth came out night. It was waving at me across the dinner table– practically horizontal in his mouth but too stubborn to let go. His constant pleas to “feel my tooth, Mom!” ended when I did, and with a gentle tug, out it came (the things we do – so gross). Triumphant, we took photos of his snaggle smile. We rejoiced in the lisp. We prepared an offering for the Tooth Fairy – cookies on a plate. Right by the bedside. The tooth in a baggie so it wouldn’t get lost. IN PLAIN SIGHT.

But did she show up? No, she did not. He awoke to stale cookies, an abandoned tooth and disappointment. Aghast, I stumbled over excuses and reassurances, exchanging horrified looks over his head with my husband, barely awake myself.

I realize that this is just one day in thousands, two small moments that won’t bear much significance in the long run. But right this minute, I feel like mud.

Help me out here, friends! Share those “Gold Star” moments of parenthood – share the guilt, give us a smile, and help us all remember that, really, these are the days we’ll remember in the years to come, not with tears, but with laughter.

What is your best Gold Star moment?
Did the tooth fairy ever blow off one of your kids?
What did you do in reparation?

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. October 26, 2010 4:21 am

    >Ah- that busy tooth fairy! I think she's most definitely not alone. I hear that sometimes a forgotten tooth = a note explaining a really busy night and a little something extra for being so patient.:o)We've all been there!

  2. October 26, 2010 2:46 pm

    >Aww, we've all done it. I've had to keep my girls indoors after promising to let them go out the day before because of a rampant head cold/sinus infection that had me practically bedridden.They are 3 & 5 they don;t understand.All they knew was that I lied. I felt like shit and tried to offer indoor activities in lieu of but they were both disappointed in me and I in myself.You are not alone. But you are a great Mom because you at least care that you feel like you failed your child.That is a tell tale sign of an awesome mommy!

  3. October 26, 2010 3:26 pm

    >Having no kids, I'll tell you what my ditsy tooth fairy did. Honestly, I don't think she ever showed up on time, not once in a whole mouthful of teeth. My mom explained that our tooth fairy was ditsy (then explained what ditsy was) and said she had to be – that's just the way fairies are. So after that first disappointment, it became a game to see when the elusive fairy would actually show up. And you'd better believe that the longer I had to wait (never more than three days, but that's ETERNITY to a youngin'!) the better the payoff was. Not money-wise (I never got more than a dollar) but I'd get a note, or the coveted dollar coin that I thought was pirate treasure. Once I had to play hide and seek to find my prize, and didn't discover it until I couldn't turn on my nightlight that night. The ditsy fairy had stuffed a dollar below the bulb!All this to say, no mom is perfect. Mine certainly wasn't, but she handled hard circumstances for bringing up three girls with a sense of humor, so that even when we were disappointed, we felt loved. I have a great relationship with her today, and we still laugh about that ditsy tooth fairy.You're the same kind of mom. I can see it written all over your boys' eyes.

  4. October 26, 2010 9:03 pm

    >We've all had those moments and most of us will admit it! :0)I think a note from the Tooth Fairy about her busy schedule and twice the reward would probably suffice.How to choose which story to tell? With four boys, I have a TON of them. You're so right about not living with regrets, though. My post led right into yours today. Thanks for coming by!

  5. November 1, 2010 9:55 pm

    >The tooth fairy has definitely forgotten to awake from her precious slumber for one of my daughters!!! We just told her that we were sure that she would come the next night!!!!

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