Raise your hand if you have wedding china.
Now, raise your hand if you use your wedding china more than twice a year.
How about that special necklace, or dress, or jacket, or shoes that are waiting for the “right” occasion?
What do you have tucked away, out of sight, that is simply waiting for the right time?
I haven’t been able to find it, but I recall Erma Bombeck telling a story of her mother (I believe) who had a beautiful silk slip that she was saving for a special occasion. Yet for years, there was no occasion special enough and she died, having never worn it.
What are you saving, and waiting for?
And why do we wait?
I think singleness has to be one of the most challenging states of being. So much of our society and culture revolves around couples, pairs, togetherness.
What about those among us who are doing this alone? For whatever reason, they didn’t find their perfect match – or perfect didn’t turn out to be so perfect. They are waiting, or they are living. I’m pretty sure, if it were me, which one I’d be.
I have so much respect for my single friends, especially the women – I think it really is harder for them – who are living single whether by choice or by chance. So many have chosen to stop waiting and live. To buy the house, buy the not-sensible car, get the dog, adopt the child, or pursue a career that brings them joy. I even have one delightful friend who buys herself diamonds on occasion. Good girl!
I have struggled – always – with how to stop thinking about what’s ahead.
More often than not, now, I’m not looking forward to it – I’m worrying about it. The “what if’s” of my future crowd noisily into every peaceful thought I have. Maybe that’s the big change for me – the future doesn’t look so bright anymore. My deteriorating eyesight, the prospect of parenting two spirited teenage boys, AGING and wrinkles, and throughout all of that, the spectre of Hungtinton’s still remains. But it’s basically the same problem – the obsession for the future overtaking the present.
I have a ring my husband gave me for Valentine’s Day a few years back. It’s vintage, and made of garnets. I love garnets, oh so much more so than rubies. It’s set with dozens of stones and I’m always a bit fearful that one will fall out and get lost…but yet…I wear it anyway. I wear it often.
I want to live my entire life that way – not just with one ring. I don’t want to live in the when. I want to live in the now.
The china may get chipped, the jewelry might get lost, the perfect partner may never come, and illness and pain – they still will happen. But at least you will have LIVED.
What are you waiting for? And why?