Baxter Kruger on "The Inner You Stink"
The following “I am nots” were compiled from a list taken at a seminar in response to the question, “Have you ever heard the whisper ‘I am not?'”:
“I am not… welcome, not perfect, not good enough, not loved, not lovable, not understood, not deserving… not forgiven, not able, not tall enough, not pretty enough, not strong…not saved, not wanted, not special, not adequate…
Whether we are conscious of it or not, we all carry the burden of this whisper…
[But]…when we look at ourselves and face our ‘I am nots’ a wonderful thing happens. We experience the sheer acceptance of the Father, Son and Spirit. It’s almost funny. For we all know that the Lord knows us inside and out anyway, but we have a way of not thinking about his awareness of us, and our lives. But an honest look at ourselves makes us vulnerable to Papa’s love…what actually happens when we get honest is that we have nowhere to go. And when you have nowhere to go you become keenly aware of where you are—known, loved, accepted…You may even hear another whisper, this one laced with divine delight and humor, “Well, duh! And… You didn’t think we knew that?” We have been loved and accepted our whole lives, but not in our minds. And that is the problem.”
I’ve decided that these whispers are basically emotional spit wads we hurl at our self-confidence. An inner civil war.
Kruger makes the point that, if They know us inside and out (and I love his emphasis on “They”) then They already know what we are not! And They love us anyway! They accept these flaws and adore us in spite of them. What grace! What confidence there is that wholly unconditional love!
In the face of all my “I am nots”…I am still wholly loved by the great I AM.