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Preoccupied, Part II

April 21, 2011

>Perhaps it’s because this all is happening simultaneously with my 20 year high school reunion.

Faces from the past are popping up everywhere. I’m having trouble thinking of people as who they are now, not who they were then.

I certainly hope they do the same for me.

For Pepperdine, I’m going back to a place that no longer exists. What once was, isn’t anymore. Neither am I. Neither are they.

Same goes for my reunion. I’m reading their stories and browsing Facebook pages and trying to process that he’s a dentist. She’s a motivational speaker. He’s a happily married father of four. She lost her first child.

But I look at them and all I remember is who they were then.

I am not who I was, I’m being remade, I am new…

Thank God for that. If only we could just get together in a room and get to know one another as we are now. If only there were no past to filter through, no history, no memories – good or bad – to get in the way of the current person.

I want to hear their stories and create a new picture – and then, then tell me who you were. Then we’ll overlay the picture of the past with the picture of the present and we’ll laugh at how the lines no longer match up.

Please don’t judge me by the silly, foolish things I once said and believed. Please don’t remember me for being boy-crazy and loud, for my crush on David Hasslehoff, or Tom Cruise. Don’t hold it against me that I read Sweet Valley High and cried over Richard Marx and had big, mall-hair and idolized Duran Duran.

I’m not who I was. Really.

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