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What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

July 20, 2011


Two kids can feel like four, but six kids are less trouble than two.

A four year old boy can fall 9 feet with minimal damage.

When the little voice inside your head says “Move that table under the ladder and put couch cushions there instead.” – LISTEN TO IT.

No matter what lengths I go to avoid it, poison oak will always find me.

“No Reception” is unnerving, but still a good thing.

Doing nothing but sitting on a sunny deck or a beach is unnerving, but still a good thing.

Bug spray, sunscreen and sand feel icky on the first day, but you get used to it.

Swimming in the lake counts as a bath with you’re 8 years old.

Somehow, up in the mountains, the only music that seems appropriate is classic rock.

Pirates in the attic.

The amount of time it takes a 4 year old to panic upon realizing he’s locked himself into a windowless, cinder-block and steel-door’d bathroom: 4 seconds.

The amount of time it takes his mother: 3.8 seconds.

The number of people it takes to talk down a hysterical 4 year old through a steel door, and coach him through over-turning over a trash can, and climbing on it to reach the latch: 5.

(Of note – he was even more upset at the idea of dumping out the trash, despite our assurances that it was ok to do so. He took the time to lift out the plastic liner and set it carefully aside before tipping over the can. He is my son after all!)

The amount of time it takes a 4 year old to recover from said hysteria: 2 minutes.

The amount of time it takes his mother: 2 hours and 2 glasses of wine.

Three children under 50 lbs are not sufficiently heavy to maintain the balance of an 5′ inner tube towed behind a speed boat.

The amount of time it takes three children to fly off an inner tube, like popcorn kernels from a hot pan, once said boat hits its first wake: 5 seconds.

The amount of time it takes a daddy to dive off a boat after his son gets dumped for the first time and starts to panic: 2 seconds.

The amount of time it took him to recover and want to go it again: long enough to climb back on.

 

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Christy A. permalink
    July 20, 2011 10:27 pm

    Two words: Love. It.

    • Lisa Dunn permalink
      July 21, 2011 7:15 pm

      Amazing writing- I loved learning all about your vacation- or “panic/relaxation-vacation!” Looked like a really neat cabin – did you rent it?
      :)Lisa

      • July 22, 2011 3:23 pm

        Lisa, my parents did – it was charming and perfect! And yes, “panic/relaxation” sums it up perfectly.

  2. Christina permalink
    July 22, 2011 1:00 am

    I can’t say it enough……..I absolutely get wrapped up in your story telling. I love your writing:) Thanks for sharing it with all of us!

  3. November 16, 2012 4:01 am

    I love this! Very, very, very entertaining! 🙂 Thank you for linking up!!

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