Life in 140 Characters

On Pregnancy Me: “She has a baby in her tummy.” He:”No, mom, it’s in her WOMB. If it was in her tummy it would be digested with stomach acid. And boy, you sure would need a flashlight in there.”

On Volcanoes: “Scientists believe the earth’s core is made of melted nickel and dime.”

On Historical Fiction, namely, Rudyard Kipling’s  Just So Stories: Me: “This book was written about 100 years ago!” He: “What? It was dropped from a 100 story building?!” Me: “Noooo. The words, they were written over 100 years ago.” He, holding up the cover, “This doesn’t look 100 years old.” Me: “No, that was published recently. But the words, the words were written over 100 years ago.” He: “Can you imagine if a book was dropped from a 100 story building and when it landed it was a 100 years old?” Me: “I give up.”

On Indecent Exposure: Recently, static cling has become a problem (note to self: must write letter to Bounce) and on at least two occasions in the last month, my 4 year old has proudly displayed a pair of my undies to the class. He discovered them trapped in his nap time bedding at preschool. I’m the laughingstock of the Pre-K.

On Manhood: Three boys wrestling one evening. Scooby walks over to me – no, he SWAGGERS over to me, and announces: “Big guys gotta go bare!” before whipping off his shirt, flexing his scrawny little arms and leaping back into the fray.

1000 Words: Really, words unnecessary.