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Bleeding Out

October 20, 2011

This has been a tough week with tough writing. I promise tomorrow’s post will be MUCH more fun! But today – this needs to be said. If you need a little humor after this one, click on one of the related stories at the bottom of this post – I added a few old funnies for grins and giggles.

There are days – weeks – sometimes even months, when this job of parenting takes all I’ve got. In stereo, their demands and cries leave me depleted and drained. So much want, so little gratitude. I’ve got my work cut out for me.

I realize that this is what I signed up for, and the good still far outweighs the bad, but it’s a tough job this.

Children take without heed.

There are days – weeks – when I feel as if I’m bleeding out. What I have to give is draining, but nothing is going in to replace it. I can tell I’m running dry, there’s not much left. I stumble in my decisions and my discipline, getting weaker in my resolve. I fall.

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26 She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28 because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”

I look over at my bedside table and I see my Bible and I see deliverance in it’s worn cover. Just reaching over to touch the raw edges of the leather – I know the answers are there.

I am so distracted I forget to even ask for help. But He is there, waiting, with twelve overflowing baskets of hope and grace, offered freely with a side of courage. I am not alone in this journey. I don’t have to do this alone. His arm is held out to me for the taking, if only I could remember to take it.

I lean back against the pillows and with a sigh, open to a Psalm that echoes my heart. David’s cries for mercy and stamina mingle with mine, prayers of worship and praise, whispers of gratitude for all He has done before and all He is preparing to do.

Just a few moments of contemplation and I am no longer empty, I am full, equipped to face the day and the challenges ahead with grace and purpose.

30 At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

31 “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”

32 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34 He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed…”

Image “Touching the Hem” by DeAnne L. Parks


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One Comment leave one →
  1. Kari permalink
    October 20, 2011 4:14 pm

    Ah yes. Filling ourselves with what God offers. The best. I heard a speaker on parenting say a couple weeks ago that she had good news. Children DO come with instruction manuals. It is the Word of God. And another speaking on working and mothering in a recent talk I heard said that guarding your own time with God is such a vital part of those two jobs (working and mothering). Glad to hear it from a friend too. May the deliverance between those covers continue to find you and you find it.

    In solidarity from the parenting trenches,

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