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Nature vs. Nurture: The Truth About Boys

April 19, 2012

Some stuff you teach your boys. Some stuff they get from watching you.

Some stuff is simply embedded in their DNA.

Goodness-knows they didn’t learn this stuff from me.

1. Everything is a weapon. Don’t matter what it is. Shoes, toothbrushes, gummy worms, vacuum cleaners, dryer lint…

2. “Keep your hands to yourself!” is merely a a suggestion to lick, kick, head-butt or hip-check.

3. A stick has infinitely alluring and magical properties.

4. Toilets are optional. Peeing outdoors is always more fun.

5. If it can spill, they’ll spill it.

6. Bathing is akin to flaying and equally abhorrent and painful.

7. Similarly, hand-washing is optional; black palms and nails just add extra flavor to the afternoon snack.

8. Nudity is equivalent to freedom: an inalienable right. Do not deny them. They’ll do it anyway.

9. Flatulence is an art form, a physiological symphony. You will either appreciate the skill, or you won’t. But they will. Will they ever. As with all skills, practice makes perfect.

10. Underneath the warrior facade is the heart of mama’s boy, always and forever.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. cherigregory permalink
    April 19, 2012 7:56 am

    Where were all these when I needed them 20 years ago?!?

    #3 reminded me of a photo of Jonathon…so classic…https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3822417681946&set=a.1141340176684.2022122.1322847386&type=1&theater

  2. Bethany Hall Fitelson permalink
    April 19, 2012 8:59 am

    Love it! I love that as sophisticated, tidy, and proper you are that you relish your boys’ boy-ness. They are precious monsters!

  3. April 19, 2012 6:48 pm

    So very true! And a peak into my future 🙂

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