Nature vs. Nurture: The Truth About Boys
Some stuff you teach your boys. Some stuff they get from watching you.
Some stuff is simply embedded in their DNA.
Goodness-knows they didn’t learn this stuff from me.
1. Everything is a weapon. Don’t matter what it is. Shoes, toothbrushes, gummy worms, vacuum cleaners, dryer lint…
2. “Keep your hands to yourself!” is merely a a suggestion to lick, kick, head-butt or hip-check.
4. Toilets are optional. Peeing outdoors is always more fun.
5. If it can spill, they’ll spill it.
6. Bathing is akin to flaying and equally abhorrent and painful.
7. Similarly, hand-washing is optional; black palms and nails just add extra flavor to the afternoon snack.
8. Nudity is equivalent to freedom: an inalienable right. Do not deny them. They’ll do it anyway.
9. Flatulence is an art form, a physiological symphony. You will either appreciate the skill, or you won’t. But they will. Will they ever. As with all skills, practice makes perfect.
10. Underneath the warrior facade is the heart of mama’s boy, always and forever.