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These Small Hours, 2012

June 7, 2012

A beginning and an end.

When I look at him, I see this. Five years old, all teeth present and accounted for. A smile that hadn’t quite learned to pose for pictures yet.

I’m no longer of parent of preschoolers. We’re all elementary now.

You tie your own shoes, you brush your own teeth, you wash your own hair and sometimes, sometimes, you even remember to flush.

A beginning and an end.

2007 was a big year around here. Babies everywhere and almost all of them of the male persuasion. You are starting your school years with such a great crew of cronies. I look at your little faces and wonder what this picture will look like at fifth grade graduation. And high school.

A beginning and an end.

I tried to recreate the past and walk you to class this morning. You tolerated the pictures, but when the bell rang, you were gone. Long legs flying up stairs without so much as a backward glance. I stood there a moment, bereft and abandoned, alone in a sea of other parents.

As I try to hold on to the past, you only look to the future.

Heartbreaking and exquisite. Exactly how it should be.  Beautiful and tragic. You are my little wonders, my twists of fate that I hold on to. Fists clenching and unclenching with time and caprice as I try to hold on to just enough but not too tight so as to hold you back.

A beginning and an end.

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don’t mind
If it’s me you need to turn to
We’ll get by,
It’s the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Little Wonders by Rob Thomas

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 7, 2012 9:12 pm

    Oh, so lovely, Adelle. And so very, very true.

  2. June 7, 2012 11:38 pm

    That picture of Scooby on the table breaks my heart. When did he turn into a little man? I remember when he was born…he was the first baby I was aware was being born at Campbell. His Dad’s bone structure with his Mom’s self awareness of how good he naturally looks in front of the camera. Priceless.

  3. Lisa permalink
    June 8, 2012 5:14 am

    So sweet! At the brink of the wedding in less than 3 weeks away, I was given a sweet gift to mother one last time when Matt came in to tell me he had been throwing up for the past hour. What a gift to this nurse turned mother! One last time to care for my perfect sweet child. All men turn back into children when they are sick and I was given a chance to comfort and heal one last time. Thank you Father for that!

  4. June 9, 2012 6:45 am

    Oh, you have me crying! So precious!

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