Gratitude Monday: Nourished
It’s not an uncomplicated business, leaving the kids for a weekend. Leaving them means also leaving home, leaving laundry, leaving chores undone. It means coming home to what’s been left – the laundry undone and two irritated cats who have obviously been pulling out their own fur in frustration all over the family room. And they ate one of my rugs, just to punish me…
It’s complicated having to pack them, and us. To find someone willing to keep them overnight (usually, my parents). And it’s complicated not to worry about what they’re doing or getting into when I’m not there to watch them.
But despite the complications, we’ve found that leaving, just the very act of getting out of Dodge if only for 24 hours, has done us a world of good. Nourishment for the soul. Nourishment for the marriage. It’s just good. Even 24 hours, a world of good.
Here’s a few things we re-disovered in the City by the Bay this weekend:
Making Spontaneous Decisions – we’d already seen a show that day, but what did we do at 9pm? Walking past a movie theatre, I joked “Hey, we could go see a movie!” We didn’t stop to think about it, or worry about how late it was, or if we needed to call the babysitter first…we saw Bourne Legacy on the marquee and walked into the show that was just starting. Just like that – no forethough, no planning. And it was fantastic. (Bourne is the new Bond franchise – you heard it here first.)
Eating Grown Up Food – Sometimes amid the chicken tenders and macaroni you forget what real food is supposed to be:like salmon server rare and cold beet salad. Sushi and Dim Sum. Aloo Paratha and and Chana Masala. We ate our way around the world and loved every minute of it.
Seeing Grown Up Things – Like art galleries and walking through a park with no particular place in mind. Spending 20 minutes contemplating a Rothko, or a Sargent. No one is going to yell at the top of their lungs in a silent gallery “I haffa go poops!”
Staying Up Late and Sleeping In – We didn’t have to worry about calling someone or rescheduling or how much this is going to cost us. We went to bed when we felt like it and got up when we felt like it – not when someone ELSE (small) felt like it was wake-up time. At 5:45am.
Laughter. I think we might have even giggled some. We have a bucket-load of stories to pull out at future dinner parties – like the time when Gabe tried to find a quicker way up Powell and pulled into the cable car only lanes and couldn’t get out again. I’ve never seen him drive so fast uphill (as I prayed under my breath that the clang clang clang of the trolley wasn’t just over the hill.) We remembered why we like each other. We had….fun.
And we sang Fun. too. With the sun roof open.
We are young.
Our marriage deserves our time and attention now. Not later, after the kids are grown, but now. Loving each other, and putting one another first in our marriage allows us to love our children more, not less. We’re better as a team.
Even though it’s complicated, go for it – get away. Find a place and a time, find a friend that you can trade with or call in the grandparents if you can. Let your kids see that they aren’t the most important thing in the world – your spouse is. It’ll do them a world of good, too.
p.s. I’m also over here today! A re-post, but in case you missed it back in April: