What’re We Waiting For?
When I was a college-graduate, still living at home, I couldn’t wait to get out on my own.
When we had a house of our own, I started planning out my nursery. The upstairs had a tiny little bedroom that would be just right – and later an office when the kids were old enough to move across the hall into the gigantic second bedroom. With built-in under-eave dressers. Two of them. And they could sled in the backyard and explore in the woods behind our house along our little creek. And there would never be dirty laundry on the floor because we had a cunning little laundry chute to the basement. (I told you, this house was PERFECT.)
Life had other plans, though. and just one year later we found ourselves deprived of our precious Yankee cottage and ensconced in a boring 1950’s ranch in Fremont, CA. I threw an inner temper-tantrum for a month or two, but finally settled into our new life. I kept dreaming of the day when our lives would finally begin – when I had a baby. But my DH wasn’t quite so eager and it was five years before we decided to give it a go.
Finally, Scooby blessed us with his presence and I couldn’t wait to have another. I knew we needed to have two – our family would be perfect then.
When I got a great job, I couldn’t wait to get promoted. When I got promoted, I couldn’t wait to quit and be a stay-at-home-mom.
Now I’m married, I have a house and two kids, I’m semi-retired and I’m finding that I don’t know what to wait for anymore.
Am I now waiting to get old, out of shape, and irrelevant? Yuck!
What, exactly, was I waiting for in the first place? Happiness? Contentment? A better job, more money, a nicer house? Do you ever find yourself putting off what you could be enjoying now, because someday, somewhere, around the corner, the RIGHT time will arrive? In the expectation that when your ship comes in, all will be perfect from that day forward. Is your china sitting in the cupboard, untouched? Waiting for a special occasion just special enough to warrant its use? What dresses or shoes sit in the closet, unworn, what perfume unopened, what dishes, or candles, or table linen sits dust-covered and useless because this normal life, in general, just isn’t special enough?
I don’t want to get to the end and realize that what I had been waiting for, I actually had, all along.
When are we going to get going? Chris says.What’s your hurry? I ask.I just want to get going.There’s nothing up ahead that’s any better than it is right here.Robert M. Pirsig