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Man-Sized in Body, Boy-Sized in Spirit

October 8, 2012

“Don’t think I can’t spank you both, even though I’m on crutches!”

Awhile back, recovering from an injury, I had a peek behind the curtain, to to speak, as I lay trapped in the recliner on the far side of the house while two boys waged war in the back bathroom over toothpaste and space at the sink. .

A glimpse of the future, and all is not rosy. A vision, you might call it, not biblical in proportion, but awesome nonetheless. A vision of my future, maybe eight or so years down the road. Here is what I saw:

They are man-sized in body, and boy-sized in spirit. Man-boys, with hairy feet and smelling of puberty and embarrassment.

One is nearly six feet tall, rail thin and reedy. Impulsive as ever, he taunts the younger and bigger one. His brother, four years younger, is taller, and broader, and heavier.

And truth be told, a little meaner, too. He fields the verbal assault with a shove, and arms are suddenly around necks, grunting and hair-pulling ensues.

“He started it!” They will ever-cry.

“Did not!” The ever response.

Bloody noses, busted lips. How many times have I whispered, cried, hollered and scolded: “Keep your hands to yourself!”

Or better: “Do not touch, kick, hit, pinch, lick, or spit on your brother!”

They never listen. Why, oh why, can’t you get along?

Civil war remains the one constant within the home, but without, sworn allies.

They pummel each other behind our backs until one of us stomps in and breaks it up. A parting pinch or punch is thrown for good measure.

This has been going on for a decade. Will it ever stop? I think so. I hope so. I’m nearly bald with frustration. Hair ALL over the floor.

In the wise words of my pint-sized Aunt Marilyn, who took her three tusseling boys by the ears and tossed them out the front door despite the fact that they were both well over six feet tall and in their sock feet: “Don’t think I can’t spank you, just because you’re man-sized.”

My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you.” – Billy Cosby

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 8, 2012 7:28 pm

    No joke, as I read this, my older son (4) crashed a large toy car into my younger son’s (1) head. Now younger is doing his best to smother older with his body… Oh boys.

    • October 9, 2012 7:32 am

      Oh, this made me laugh. I remember those days and yet, as I’ve shown here, THEY ARE STILL HAPPENING! God bless those boys, and their boy-mamas!

  2. Elisa permalink
    October 8, 2012 9:51 pm

    Hmmm….is it odd that my daughters do the exact same thing…I hope they do grow out of it… And soon or I won’t have any hair left!

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