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Mother Snarks-A-Lot

February 25, 2013


It has been THAT kind of weekend.

Gabe’s birthday was on Sunday, and as usual, I was less than prepared. I had oral surgery on Friday, hosted a large dinner party Friday night, and by Saturday at noon, I was yelling at everyone and bawling in the master bathroom. It didn’t help that the natives were restless, turning on each other viciously, and when we tried to intervene, they would turn on us. Everyone was cranky, crabby and snarky. What was WRONG with these kids?! 

Sunday, as we were tripping along the streets of downtown San Jose, the boys continued their diatribe on the way to take Daddy out to dinner. They complained about having to wear a shirt out in public. They complained about the restaurant we chose. They complained that it wasn’t McDonalds. And they continued to bicker and bait one another until Mama was ready for another meltdown.

I stopped them all right there in the middle of the sidewalk for a family huddle.

Whose day is it today? It’s Daddy’s. Not yours. Today is not about you. Therefore, we will, none of us, complain any further about anything. Not the food, not the weather, not the car, or the clothes you’re wearing or the hair on your head. We’re done. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Got it? Good.

Having told them what was what, I smugly took Gabe’s arm as the boys went ahead of us. As we walked,  one of those two-wheeled little personal people mover thingies went by, driven by a perky dude in a bike helmet and shades.

“What a dork. Those things are so dorky. People driving them think they look cool, but they don’t. They look dumb.”

Gabe looked over at me with one eyebrow raised.

Oh dear.

I am the Queen of Snark. No wonder we’re all eating each other alive – mama is setting the example!

In my defense…I had been in constant pain since my surgery. A suture is slicing my mouth to ribbons, like a needle stabbing me in the tongue when I eat, drink, or speak.

If you were being systematically poked in the mouth with a needle, you might be a bit on the snarky side yourself.

While a defense, it is no excuse. I realized my bitter words and sarcasm were feeding theirs, not the other way around. Once again, they are watching. They are ALWAYS watching. And doing as I do.

I’d love to tell you that I changed my tune and all was sunshine and rainbows, but no, not quite. I kept the sarcasm and snapping to a minimum, and tried to increase the peace in my demeanor, but it was tough. I write this waiting for a call back from my dentist to free me from this torture, and he could very well say no, tough it out – the sutures are supposed to stay in four weeks.

Lord, help me.

I’ll do my best, and I’ll keep apologizing along the way. I am only human, not super, after all.

This too shall pass.

(p.s. all is sunshine and rainbows. Stabbing suture removed. I can be nice again!)

14 Comments leave one →
  1. Robert T. Stone permalink
    February 25, 2013 1:17 pm

    Well,, you inspried me to look up the full definition of snarky.
    Glad you are feeling better!

  2. Sheryl permalink
    February 25, 2013 1:34 pm

    Thanks for sharing. I thought I was the only snarky mom. 🙂

  3. melody permalink
    February 25, 2013 1:50 pm

    My confession…..not only do I get snarky with my daughter but I tell her if she wasn’t so negative about somethings in the first place I wouldn’t get snarky with her. What a liar I am…I know when I get in my snarky mood and can not stop myself and a lot of time it has nothing to do with my child. Even if she is making me crazy that is no excuse for me to show her the wrong way to react. There is my confession….I am not a perfect mom :^o

  4. Bethany Hall Fitelson permalink
    February 25, 2013 4:09 pm

    This is such a good reminder. I have been very conscious of what I say around Sophia now that she is starting to repeat things. But it goes beyond the occasional four-letter-word when I stub my toe. It also applies to snark, criticism of others, criticism of myself, etc. It’s a daunting task to try and clean myself up from the inside out, and not just fake it but actually change my own heart so I don’t pass on my high-horse critical nature to my daughter. That said, sometimes kids will just whine when they have to go to an adult restaurant, and you can’t blame yourself for that! Haha.

    • February 26, 2013 7:37 am

      It’s a process, B! A daily journey of showing them our own transparency – we fall down, we apologize, we get back up. And yeah, sometimes they will whine despite our best efforts, but they ended up loving PF Changs to their surprise and ate more of our food than they did their own kids menu selections!

  5. pastordt permalink
    February 25, 2013 9:11 pm

    Let’s hear it for snark! However, a little goes a very long way, doesn’t it? So sorry about the sore mouth – and I can relate. Nothing worse than a sore mouth. Unless it’s a sore foot. Top or bottom, what hurts there, impacts all the rest of us. So glad there is sunshine again. :>)

    • February 26, 2013 7:38 am

      Diana, thank you and that is the truth! Small, incessant pain is almost worse than big, short-term pain! But this too shall pass…

  6. Sandy Welch permalink
    February 26, 2013 6:54 am

    I love your honesty and vulnerability. You make me laugh and see myself and think maybe I am normal. Maybe I am ok. Believe me snarky is not just a condition that hits irritated moms. Great Grandmas are not exempt. Love u ; )

    • February 26, 2013 7:39 am

      I love that feeling – finding out that my wackiness isn’t so abnormal after all! Glad I could give you the same. Big hugs!

  7. February 26, 2013 10:00 am

    Truly? I’m not the only snarky mom out there? Thank you for giving me permission to sometimes be imperfect. It eases my guilt…a little bit. 🙂

  8. February 26, 2013 10:05 am

    So appreciate the honesty….thank you! I also loved your Not for Sale Part II post – thankfully I read it before I hit the grocery store and stuck to my guns. Well done…great reminders and insight!

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