Lost in Translation: What Boys Hear
Five minutes before we are to leave for work and school, I sent my two boys back to the bathroom to brush their teeth. I finished putting the breakfast dishes away and slugged the last of my coffee. The boys did not appear. I hollered “time to go!” The boys did not appear. Ten minutes have now gone by.
I started stomping down the hallway, but to no effect. They could not hear me, because they were busy pummeling each other with lunchboxes in the bathroom, teeth still unbrushed.
They seemed shocked by my reaction. I’m pretty sure their brains fall out every time I leave the room. This is only one example of oh-so-many instructions that seem to get lost in translation.
“Go put your pajamas on!” and they hear “Dress up like pirates and build a fort!”
“Please get dressed for school.” And they hear: “Please build a LEGO star ship while sitting stark naked on the bedroom floor.”
“Take a bath.” = “Create as many bubble impressions of famous people with funny hair and beards but do not actually wash yourself at all. Certainly, do not wash your hair.”
“Please clean up your bedroom.” = “Have a sword fight.”
“Eat your dinner.” = “Start a thumb war with your brother.”
“Please rake those leaves into a pile.” = “Please build a secret hideout in the back yard, but by all means do not rake those leaves.”
“Get ready for bed.” = “Use your bathrobes and slippers to dress up in a remarkably good imitation of Sonic the Hedgehog and run speeding around the house.” (See image above.)