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Globally Un-positionable: A Tale of Bravery

April 17, 2013
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“I am not a brave person.”

These  words kept running through my head as I drove through a dark so deep it crept through the cracks in the doors and windows.

I pulled over again, mulling over the page-long sheet of directions I had been given to guide me (and my two-year-old in the back seat) to our overnight accommodations. Or, at the very least, guide us to a meeting place from whence my sister-in-law, Trisha, would guide us to our overnight accommodations.

I’ve said it before — I’m a girl who likes to know what’s going on, who plans for contingencies, and I, y’know, like to know where I’m going. GPS is usually helpful in this arena. But on this adventure, statements kept popping up on my Garmin, like:

“Please find the highlighted route and your guidance will begin.”

Please FIND the highlighted route?

You want ME to find it?
That’s YOUR job!

You mean, the SATELLITE doesn’t even know where I am?


Globally unpositionable, in the dark, all alone, responsible for not only my well-being but that of the tired and cranky little person in the backseat, who was blissfully unaware of how scared I am of being lost. He, blindly assuming that at some point, we, but more importantly, he, would soon be tucked into bed. Believing with unwaivering certainty that footie pjs , a sippy cup of milk, “bitzie”, and Sharkie would be joining him there.

After several laps around the teensy-weensy town of Santa Margarita, I arrived at our meeting place, a charming park in the center of town.(This town is not merely tiny, nor is it teeny, it is teensy-weensy.) At one point, I attempted to follow a van, thinking it was Trish, but no, it was full of drunk teenagers. Realizing my mistake, I was also by them alerted to the fact that said park was rapidly filling with more drunk teenagers and I was at the site of a very-soon-to-be raging rave.

The correct white van showed up, and after Trisha peeled me off her neck, I hopped back into my car and began to follow her tail lights up a dirt road through an even deeper, more ominous darkness. There was nothing beyond my beams, nothing to the side, I could have been driving along a ridge of the Himalayas for all I could not see more than five feet to either side. Or over a cliff. My GPS gave up entirely, the little blue arrow meekly tracking a single, solitary, wavering line on the darkened screen.

Such a parallel this, relinquishing road maps for reliance, not knowing where we’re going, or when we’ll get there. Letting go and letting God, with no more visibility than a New England white-out.

It takes courage, having that level of trust. Whole-hearted belief in your Guide. Whole-hearted faith that at some point, the light will come on again, and the darkness will part.

My faith in Trisha, my guide that night, was not forsaken. Fifteen minutes later, safety emerged from the gloom in the form of a capacious 5th wheel parked outside their cabin, lit up like a Christmas tree, the A/C humming (did I mention that Santa Margarita is very, very hot?) and hugs from more family awaiting us.

We achieved our goal,
we didn’t get (very) lost,
we didn’t give in to (much) panic, and,
we didn’t get kidnapped by drunk teenagers.

We’ll chalk this one up as a win.

Later that night, a full moon rose and shone so brightly that the darkness was pushed away and the hills and trees lit up as midday. I stood at the windows of the RV looking at the silvery hillside and wondering what had been so scary about all that darkness after all.

My wee one’s faith was neither denied. Not long after our arrival, we two cuddled in a rocking chair, each of us equally rewarded for our courage.

He had me (and Sharkie).
I had Him.
We may have been globally unpositionable,
But we were safe in the deep, dark night
A little braver than I thought, and a little wiser for the journey.


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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Melody permalink
    April 17, 2013 11:34 pm

    LOVE THIS!!!!

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. April 18, 2013 8:59 am

    I appreciate your faith and your writing!

  3. Bethany Hall Fitelson permalink
    April 18, 2013 10:05 am

    I love this story. I had one of those “we’re lost in the dark mountains with no cell phone reception and we’re probably meeting Jesus tonight” moments in college with my friend Patty. The next morning we couldn’t remember why we were so scared. It’s amazing how much dark and light can heighten or assuage our fears.

  4. Elaine permalink
    April 18, 2013 11:29 am

    It can be really hard/stressful to follow the road in the darker times of life :/ Great illustration and reminder that He is leading… and sure knows the road! It’s not always easy to remember that, but is no less true when we are having a hard time remembering.


  1. Weekend Round-Up: April 20

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