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The Secret to Raising Cofident and Capable Adults

May 3, 2013


You never get what you want by screaming.

But then, they weren’t listening, and I hollered, and they did what I wanted them to do.

Use your nice words!

But then, they weren’t listening, and I got frustrated, and I yelled and I was nasty, and they did what I wanted them to do, but they did it with tears in their eyes.

Control your temper!

But then, I lost mine.

I fall down. I make mistakes. If I sat down and counted them all, I would drown under the shame of just what a terrible mother I really am.

Be the person you want your children to become.

I don’t want them to be this person that I am. I am flawed, and terrible, and weak.

But I have Jesus on the inside. No matter how much I screw up, make mistakes and fail, I still have Jesus on the inside.

When you make a mess, clean it up.

I go to them in humility and I ask for their forgiveness. Mommy was wrong to behave that way. Please forgive me.

And, just like our loving Father in heaven, they shower me with grace, abundant ever-flowing grace, with a forgiveness readily and swiftly bestowed. Absolution and peace to begin again.

They see right through me anyway, these children. They can tell when I’m faking it. When I’m trying to smile but want to cry. They see right through me anyway, so why hide what’s broken? Let them see. Let them see the cracks in my varnish and the flaws and failures that make the light on the inside glow that might brighter.

They’ll never have to worry about living up to an impossible, unattainable ideal.

If it weren’t for my broken places, the light could never shine through. I am broken, so that they can see Him. One day they will be broken, too. We are all broken, but if we allow it, we get to have Jesus on the inside. A Jesus-light that glows so bright it makes our cracks into beauty.

A Jesus-light who heals our wounds, seals over our flaws, and carries our burdens day by day by day by day. A light that cannot be put out, cannot be quenched, covered, snuffed or shut.

When they see me, I hope they can see Him, shining through my flaws and failures, a miserable failure, yet free in Christ. And one day, when they are living lives of their own, I hope they can look in the mirror and see the same.

Be the person you want your children to become.

I am saved.

I am free.

I am redeemed.

I am made new.

If that’s all my boys will ever be, that is enough.

May grace and peace be yours in abundance, and may you find yourself in possession of precisely what you need to get through today.


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One Comment leave one →
  1. May 4, 2013 7:21 am

    Thank you for the heartfelt, honest words…and for the reminder.

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