I treid all day Sunday and Monday to write a blog post.
I pulled up old drafts and looked for new angles. Searching for something worthwhile to say. Something with meaning.
But, for the last two days, everything just felt meaning-less.
My back ached from going to the gym that morning. But the people crawling over rubble and twisted metal all day yesterday, searching, searching, searching…their backs and hands and knees hurt more than mine.
My children bickered over the dinner table. But we had a table to sit down to, and we were, all four of us, together. I was able to kiss both my children goodnight last night.
And there are parents, not just in Oklahoma, but all over the world, who said their last goodbyes to their babes yesterday.
In days like these, hope feels very heavy. I went to my Bible yesterday and I opened to Isaiah 9.
The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness, a light has dawned.
This is one of those times where we are walking in darkness, waiting for the light.
A young woman spoke at our church Sunday evening of her 9 months in Africa, and her daily search for God’s voice and direction. Nine months to do nothing more than find God. And as it has been promised to all of us, when she searched, she found.
I sat in my seat and I envied her. I envied her the time and clarity to just listen. To wake up and have nothing to do but hear God.
I look around at the busyness of my life, and the chaos and the clutter, and I realized that the darkness I so often find myself in is a darkness of my own making. I cannot hear God because my life is so noisy.
God never shouts. He only whispers.
Everything is meaningless today. But today I will be present in this darkness, and wait and be still. I will wait for the light to dawn, and while I wait I will pray:
Marantha, Lord. Come quickly.