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From the Front Lines: Daybreak Uprising Forestalled

June 19, 2013

0830 hrs. Tuesday 18 June 2013

Fierce uprising among locals at dawn. Our battalion was caught off guard – we were separated at the front and insurgents chose this opportunity for attack. Fatigue and excessive responsibilities left us unprepared for the ambush, but we withstood the onslaught with relative calm and held our position with firmness and resolve.

We have identified a violent infestation of the “I wants.” Perhaps recent excesses on the part of local population has increased their vulnerability. A powerful antidote was administered in the form of mandatory sleep, increased labor requirements, and withdrawal of previously held privileges.

We have regained a fragile calm but it is my belief that we have not see the last of this pernicious virus.  It seems to affect the younger members of the population more severely. The older members have built up some immunity, but it is still not yet sufficient to protect them entirely. They tend to recover more quickly than the younger as well.

Symptoms observed include pouting, crying, whining and querulous demands on the part of the youngest members of the population. Hurled insults were also in evidence, but these were experienced within their group. Thankfully, commanding officers were not victimized as such.

We are discussing the application of preventative measures in order to staunch the progression of this affliction. What worked in previous infestations is no longer proving effective and we are forced to revisit all methods, once again finding that nothing works well for long. Our creativity and patience is taxed to our greatest limits but we do not lose hope.

We are beaten from all sides, but we are not giving up. We see the potential in these young natives for greatness and we will prevail over these immediate obstacles in the hope of a brighter, more peaceful future.

Commanding Officer Mom


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