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A Message For All The Weary Moms: You Are Enough

September 26, 2013

You Are Enough

“No matter what I do, it never feels like enough.”

Earlier this week I sat at a table with six other women and there was one thing we all had in common.

We all felt like we weren’t enough.

If I work, I should be home more.

If I’m at home, I should be contributing more.

My family tells me I’m not doing enough.

Stuff I see online tells me I’m not doing enough.

Everyone else’s Facebook posts tell me I’m not doing enough.

Let me tell you something. Lean in close, this is really important.

You are enough.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret… Are you ready? Are you paying attention?

The reason you feel like you aren’t enough is because there is always someone else out there doing more than you. And she’s fierce about her opinions. She passionately defends her choices. Loudly. With lots of words and really pretty pictures that she posts to Pinterest.

But guess what?

That position she defends so fiercely? Whatever it is – cloth or disposable, homemade or store-bought, worn, slung, rolled, organic or full of preservatives… The reason she defends it so fiercely is that secretly…
deep down…
she’s afraid.
She’s afraid that she’s wrong. She’s afraid it’s not enough. She’s afraid that she is not enough.
So she argues vehemently for her method in the hidden hope that in so doing, she will prove it to herself. Her words aren’t meant for you, sweetie. She’s just trying to convince herself.

Because really, we all feed the same. We all feel like we are not enough.

We are all different – different gifts, different passions. We were not meant to “do it all” we were meant to do our best. Be ourselves – not someone else. Her gift may be food, yours is compassion. Over there? That other mom? Her gift is being able to play endlessly on the floor with her kids and she never gets bored or cranky with them! But she hates cooking, so she feels guilty that she doesn’t cook more.
Embrace YOUR gifts, don’t run after hers.
Do YOUR best, not someone else’s best.
Be the shiniest possible version of you. Just you.
Because YOU are enough.
Just as you are.
And, the next time you run into her? Instead of standing your ground, engaging in a debate, give her a hug instead.
And tell her:
“You are a great mom. And You are enough.”
If we all did that? Those Mommy Wars will end, right there on the spot.

Go then, and be shiny today! Don’t just do it for yourself, do it for her. She needs your glow.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. September 26, 2013 8:12 am

    Adelle–this is wonderful, needed and true. I just came back from speaking at a church in Dallas giving the same message. SO many weary mothers out there! We DO need to rest in Him and know—He has done it all. And we get to just walk in that every day, and let our kids see us walking in Christ. Thank you for this good word!

  2. sylvia judkins permalink
    September 26, 2013 5:54 pm

    Thanks Adelle, love the reminder to just do my best! I remember in a bible class one Sunday when I first started going to church that someone proudly shouted out how she would just abandon her housekeeping to play legos with her kids and gladly let her house go unattended….. I felt so inferior for a very long time. I wasn’t a good enough mom, because I liked housekeeping more (poppy cock!)…. It took me a while to figure that one out and I am glad for that, but we all roll back and forth with that wisdom…

    Today you brought me back to reality with your reminder, thank you Friend!

    • September 27, 2013 7:22 am

      Love you, Syl! Thanks for taking the time to comment. For so many years I thought it was just me….but it’s really not. We ALL feel this way! YOU are a GREAT mom!

Trackbacks

  1. 31 Days to Shine: A New Name: “Enough” | Adelle Gabrielson
  2. 31 Days to Shine: To Shine, Not Shame | Adelle Gabrielson
  3. Boy-Moms, What You’re Doing Now Means Something. Here’s Why… | Adelle Gabrielson
  4. Manifesto: A Cease-Fire for the Working Mom | Adelle Gabrielson

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