31 Days to Shine: To Shine, Not Shame
I love to speak to mothers groups. Every time I do — about twice a month — I come back feeling like I’ve been given more than I gave.
Today, I got real, and vulnerable, and shiny with some moms in Fremont. And they did the same with each other. We spoke of the lies we hear from others, the lies we tell ourselves. And we spoke of the truth – what is real and possible because of I AM and His love. Here are some of their truths:
- I am exactly the mom God chose for my kids, and He is bigger than me!
- Doing my best is good enough for God, and good enough for me.
- I am worthy because God loves me, and accepts me.
- I am…always giving kisses and hugs to my kids even when they tell me to STOP!
- I am important and blessed by the King of Kings!
- I am uniquely and wonderfully made. I don’t need to be perfect or do more to be loved.
- I do everything I can for my family…with LOVE! Every Day!
- I am my daughter’s best friend and teacher.
- My kids’ behavior does not make me a bad mom. I am a great mom that God made me.
I’ve done this exercise six or seven times. Each time I am so moved and humbled and blessed by the courage these women have…not just to call out the lie, but to tell the truth.
The truth is harder. The lies are easy to believe. The “You Stink” voice is loud, and persistent. And loud.
But the truth…so elusive.
I was introduced by a mom who got up there and bared her soul. Shared her story. She told the truth, and let me tell you, that girl positively glowed. She knew precisely where her light was coming from, and even though she was scared, she let that light shine.
“Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped round it—it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or buy our story. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.”
The best thing to do when shame hits “feels totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out! We have to own our story and share it with someone who has earned the right to hear it, someone whom we can count on to respond with compassion.”
(Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection)
The room was lit up like a Christmas tree because of her courage and honesty. Which is precisely what this 31 Days to Shine is all about.
Only through our cracks and broken places can others see our Light within. When we allow ourselves to shine, we light the path for those around us, as well.
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