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31 Days to Shine: To Shine, Not Shame

October 28, 2013

Shine Not Shame

I love to speak to mothers groups. Every time I do — about twice a month — I come back feeling like I’ve been given more than I gave.

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Today, I got real, and vulnerable, and shiny with some moms in Fremont. And they did the same with each other. We spoke of the lies we hear from others, the lies we tell ourselves. And we spoke of the truth – what is real and possible because of I AM and His love. Here are some of their truths:

  • I am exactly the mom God chose for my kids, and He is bigger than me!
  • Doing my best is good enough for God, and good enough for me.
  • I am worthy because God loves me, and accepts me.
  • I am…always giving kisses and hugs to my kids even when they tell me to STOP!
  • I am important and blessed by the King of Kings!
  • I am uniquely and wonderfully made. I don’t need to be perfect or do more to be loved.
  • I do everything I can for my family…with LOVE! Every Day!
  • I am my daughter’s best friend and teacher.
  • My kids’ behavior does not make me a bad mom. I am a great mom that God made me.

I’ve done this exercise six or seven times. Each time I am so moved and humbled and blessed by the courage these women have…not just to call out the lie, but to tell the truth.

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The truth is harder. The lies are easy to believe. The “You Stink” voice is loud, and persistent. And loud.

But the truth…so elusive.

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I was introduced by a mom who got up there and bared her soul. Shared her story. She told the truth, and let me tell you, that girl positively glowed. She knew precisely where her light was coming from, and even though she was scared, she let that light shine.

“Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped round it—it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or buy our story. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.”

The best thing to do when shame hits “feels totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out! We have to own our story and share it with someone who has earned the right to hear it, someone whom we can count on to respond with compassion.”

(Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection)

The room was lit up like a Christmas tree because of her courage and honesty. Which is precisely what this 31 Days to Shine is all about.

Only through our cracks and broken places can others see our Light within. When we allow ourselves to shine, we light the path for those around us, as well.

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Read more!

Truth and Lies

A Message For All The Weary Moms: You Are Enough

A New Name “Enough”

Have you missed a post? Check out the entire series 31 Days to Shine.

The conversation continues on Facebook. Follow my author page for more insights and resources about living a shiny, abundant and beautiful life. 

Like this post? Subscribe to receive future posts via email or a quarterly newsletter that positively glimmers with good stuff. 

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Aubrey permalink
    October 29, 2013 10:18 am

    LOVED it! I hope each of us revisit this often. Thank you so much!

  2. November 5, 2013 11:06 pm

    I LOVE this Adelle. Amen Sister. What a powerful truth. We all need to hear… over and over again. This reminds me of the book “Confessions of an Imperfect Mom”… have you heard of it? She does something very similar when she speaks at groups. I speak often as well and feel that this exercise may be something the Lord wants to use here in the moms groups in Oregon as well. Would you mind if I “used” you idea when I speak at MOPS? I absolutely love this idea of writing down the affirmations. I am going to share your post on my fb page and twitter sister. God is so good. Thank you for obeying His call to encourage and teach. Just beautiful!

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  1. 31 Days to Shine: Choose to Shine, The End | Adelle Gabrielson

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